Feeling Flooded

Written May 3rd, 2020 | 2:45AM | 7 Days until Graduation

Anyone who knows me will tell you I’m a planner. I️ guess I️ get that from my mother. The woman who has every area of her life labeled, color-coded, and filed away in alphabetized tabs.

That quality used to annoy me, but here I️ am. I️ guess we do all turn into our mothers sooner or later. Or at least versions of them.

So here I️ am. The planner. With all my plans losing their footing. Not only plan A, but B and C and D too. Because as every good planner knows, you never have just one plan. You have backups. And backups for your backups.

But all my backups have lost their backing.

I️ feel as though I️ am standing on the edge of a stream. Some of my peers have successfully crossed, while others stand with me on the opposing shoreline wondering what we do next.

Where once stood smooth, dry, stable stones leading across the stream, now sink slippery moss-covered wobbly uncertain pebbles pounded and slickened by a roaring current.

The stream overflowed from a storm we never saw coming. And now our paths are sunk. Fading into the water, becoming more weathered with every passing current.

COVID-19 shook the lives of people around the world. In no way do my woes compare those of the most vulnerable members of our society. Nor do they hold a candle to the fears, anxieties, and frustration faced by our front line workers who give selflessly of themselves, sacrificing their own safety for the wellbeing of others, every day.

But for me and my fellow college seniors, life on the other side of our degree is not what we expected. Never before have we faced a life with such uncertainty. Without a plan. What do we do next? How do we get through the stream? When will the storm end?